


Leave This Blue Neighborhood

by 2wenty1nepilots



Category: All Time Low, Bandom, The Maine (Band)
Genre: Blue Neighborhood Trilogy, M/M, based off of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-04
Updated: 2017-04-08
Packaged: 2018-10-14 17:18:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10540998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2wenty1nepilots/pseuds/2wenty1nepilots
Summary: just a short little story based off of Troye Sivan's music video trilogy "Blue Neighborhood"





	1. WILD

John was crying. Again. I was holding him, trying my best to give him comfort but it wasn’t working. I had to think of a way to help him, it hurt me so much when he was like this.

“Remember when we were kids and we would climb in the trees that were in my back yard?” I wanted to distract him. “We would try to see who could climb the highest. You always went the highest, though; I was usually too scared to climb as high as you”

John sniffles. “Um… y-yeah, I do. Why?”

“That was a nice time.” I ignore his question, just wanting to share the memory. “We were like 8 maybe? That was when we were just friends at the time. We were so happy.”

A smile sneaks on his face. “Yeah, it was nice… kind of crazy though isn’t it? That was like 10 years ago. So much has changed…” thinking too much about the end of his sentence, the smile fades from John’s face back to his gloomy expression.

I try to ignore his sadness, trying to fill the room with a happier atmosphere. “Yeah, you’re right. Like how we’re together now. It’s almost funny how long it took for us to realize how gay we were, and how gay we were for each other.”

John softly chuckled, I loved hearing that. “No, it's funny how long it took for you to realize how gay we were. I knew hella early on.”

I laughed too, “Either way, it’s still cool thinking about how much we’ve changed.”  
There was a silence that filled the room for a short period of time. We sat there for a little bit, John occasionally sniffling. He was still crying a little but he seemed much calmer compared to before.

“I miss being like that you know?” He looked up at me with a single tear in his eye. “Yeah we were naïve, but it was just so much simple back then. That was before mom died, before dad became a drunk, before I had to hide from everyone the way I feel about you.” He sighed, “I just this could all be much easier…” John slumps back down in my arms and looks away. “Talk more about when we were younger... before mom died. I like hearing you talk about it.”

“We used to ride our bikes to the beach all the time. That was always fun.”

John blinked and looked at me confused. “Alex, you don’t like the beach.”

“Well… yeah. But you do. You loved it when we were kids. You had such a good time. You’d always make me come in the water with you and repeatedly threaten to throw me in the water if I didn’t come join you. I never really believed your threats but I got in the water anyway. You were happier when I was with you.”

John smiles “I still am happier when you’re with me. I the happiest I can be when you’re by my side.” He looks back at me again, almost no trace of the tears that were in his eyes before.

John climbs on top of me, still smiling. “I’m also pretty happy when you’re under me too.”

I blushed before John leaned down and caught my lips in a kiss. He pushes his lips more against mine and slides his tongue into my mouth. He places a hand on my chest and another behind my neck. I slip my tongue into his mouth now, deepening the kiss. John slowly glides his hand down my body, coming closer and closer to my crotch.

We hear the bedroom door swing open abruptly. His dad is standing there with anger in his eyes. John flies off of me to the other side of the bed looking at his dad with fear in his eyes.

“Dad, please let me expl-“John puts his hands up in defense.

“What the fuck is this!? What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” His dad yells, face getting red with anger.

John was silent, too scared to speak.

“Mr. O’calla-“

“I didn’t ask you to talk! Actually, I don’t even want you in my house! Get the fuck out of here and don’t come back!”

I look at John scared to leave him alone with his dad but also scared to disobey him. He looks back and be and nods; letting me know it’ okay to leave. He looks terrified but I get off the bed and walk out of the room anyway. I look at John more time but he doesn’t look back; too scared to lift his eyes off the ground

I walk slowly through the house, still debating if leaving is is the right choice. I get to the front door when I begin to hear the yelling.

I stand there but I should leave, I really should. This is their argument and I should give them time to talk it out. I’ll just come tomorrow and check on him.

I go out the door and head over to my house; telling myself 'it’ll be okay, just come check on him tomorrow', the whole walk home.


	2. FOOLS

I’m standing at John’s and I have no idea how this is going to go. After I got home yesterday he didn’t call me. He didn’t even send me a goodnight text like he does every night. But I’m still here, hoping he just got grounded or something that would give an explanation to my unanswered texts and voicemails.

I take a deep breath and knock timidly on the door. I wait a few seconds before I knock again and the door swings open.

I see John’s face and feel relieved until I see a light bruise on the side of his face and notice his red eyes like he’s been crying all night.

“A-Alex, what are you doing here? My dad said not to come back.” He looks scared. I probably did too. I didn’t like seeing him like this

“I wanted to check on you babe. I wanted to ask how it went yesterday” I put my hand on his cheek.

As soon as my hand made contact with his skin he pushed my arm away “don’t call me that. Don’t call me babe.” He looked away. “You should really go.”

I was really confused now, all I knew was that I didn’t like where this was going. “John, why are you acting like this? Did your dad give you those bruises? Is this all because he caught us?”

“N-no Alex, I just don’t want you here anymore, I don’t want you anymore. You should just leave and not come back like my dad told you.” He was still looking away, not making any eye contact with me whatsoever.

“Just tell me where you got those bruises. I need to know”

“No, you don’t need to know, Alex. This isn’t any of your business so just leave. I don’t want you so why can’t you just leave?” he finally looks up at me and he looks like he could cry at any moment.

“Babe.” I plead, “Just tell me what’s wrong. What did your dad say to you yesterday after I left? What did he do? You can tell me and it’ll all be okay. I’ll make it okay babe, I promise” I wrap my arms around his waist, holding him close to me.

He becomes frustrated with me and shoves me away from him, forcing me to let go of his waist and stumble backward. I’m filled with shock. John has never been like this with me. This isn’t him; I know it isn’t.

“I told you not to call me that, okay!?” He begins to raise his voice at me. “Stop fucking calling me ‘babe’ because I’m not your ‘babe’, not anymore. And my dad has nothing to do with this. I just came to my fucking senses and realized this isn’t who I am! I’m not gay and I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t be with you anymore! The only thing that you can do to make this ‘okay’ for me is if you just fucking left. My dad and I have already asked you to leave now so I don't get why you can't just fucking go!” He was huffing by the end of his sentence, face red with anger. I still saw the tears threatening to come out of his eyes before I noticed the tears in mine.

“J-John you don’t mean that. I know you don’t” I know I’m probably pushing him but I just couldn’t believe this was happening.

“Don’t tell me I don’t mean it when you don’t know what’s going on in my mind right now. I don’t want you and I want you to leave. I don’t want to see your fucking face anymore.”

I was full on crying at this point. Tears were streaming down my face.

“Well, if that’s what you really want, then I guess I’ll go then.” I look down at my feet, too scared to look at the anger on his face anymore.

“Yes, please. All I want from you is to just leave for good”

That stung, it really did. Those are the last words I would probably ever hear him say to me ever again and I hated it. Without even saying a goodbye, fearing John’s response, I turned away from his front door and started my walk home.

I didn’t see him again until a few months later. I was walking to the store to pick up a few things for my mom. On the way there I knew I would have had to pass John’s neighborhood. I usually didn’t see him on my walks to the store, so I didn’t even think to worry about the chance that I would run into him on my short journey there.

I was wrong not to worry

I saw him walking in the opposite direction I was headed in. I made eye contact with him, unsure how to approach the situation. We kept looking at one other until I broke our staring contest to look at the girl next to him. The girl was completely oblivious to the silent situation between us, probably thinking I was just some random situation.

The girl was talking about something with John and I couldn’t really find out what the conversation was about, but it didn’t really matter.

What did matter was that she was holding his hand and looking at him with the same look I used to have for him. He looked back her with the same amount of adoration as she had for him and then kissed her cheek. He knew I was passing them on this sidewalk. He knew I would have seen that and that it would hurt me, but he did it anyway.

Finally, I passed them. They were out of sight, but now out of mind. I allowed myself to shed a few tears before I got to the store, then decided that it was time to get over this. He obviously had been over it for some time now.


	3. TALK ME DOWN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw: suicide and homophobic slurs

It has been two years I think? Yeah, that sounds right. Two years since I’ve last seen John. And now I’m staring right at him and the circumstances are very good at all.

He is standing there dressed in his Sunday’s best next to his girlfriend and someone who I think if my memory serves me correctly, is his cousin. They’re all just standing there looking solemnly at the grave in front of them with a tombstone that reads “John Cornelius O’Callaghan II 1964-2017.”

I didn’t want to come to this funeral. I’ve managed to avoid John for so long and I was so proud of it. But when my mom informed me about John’s dad passing I didn’t know how to feel. Either way, though she didn’t really give me a choice on how to feel. The O’Callaghans had been family friends of ours since before I was born. So my parents let me know that it was obligatory that I come to this funeral.

I saw John shed a tear as the priest gave a speech. He was going on about death and moving onto the afterlife and some more fluff to make his loved ones feel better. John and his father didn’t even go to church, why was this guy here making a speech about a man he never even knew?

Does he know that this man resting in the coffin was a severe alcoholic? An abusive father? A raging homophobe? No. He probably didn’t.

But eventually the service was over and I could finally go home. I was headed towards my car through the graveyard and then there was a tap on my shoulder.

I stopped then turned around to see John standing there, tears rolling down his face constantly. He looked terrible and I hated. He broke my heart in such a tragic way but that didn’t mean I liked to see him in this kind of pain.

“I-I… I wanted to apologize.” He stutters out quickly. I didn’t know what he was talking about.

“I know I hurt you when I broke up with you those two years ago, b-but I just didn’t know a way around it.” He starts sobbing and I don’t know what to do besides let him continue. “When… when he caught us in my room that day he was furious after you left. He couldn’t stand the fact that I could ever be gay… that night he beat me and told me if he ever saw you around me again he would beat you too. I didn’t want you to get hurt. I didn’t want him to hurt you. I thought if I just told you I didn’t want to be with you, it would be easy for you to move on. I even got a girlfriend thinking that if I started dating Jenny that it would help both of us move on. I wanted you to be mad at me for dating her, I wanted you to hate me. God, I know I hated me after that. I have never spent a single second with her not wishing I could’ve been with you.”

He was still crying so I did the only thing I ever did when he was crying. I reached out for him and brought him tight to my chest.

“But now… now he’s gone. He’s gone, I’ve lost him. And I lost you a long time ago. I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“John, you could never lose me. I promise I will always be here for you. I love you and I will always have a place for you in my heart.”

“Wait.” He looked at me. “You still love me? Ever after all these years? Even after what I did?”  
I paused for a second to think about the question before I answered. “Yeah. I do. I still love you very much.”

“Can I kiss you? Would that be okay?”

I didn’t answer him because I didn’t want to wait another second before I could touch his lips.  
As soon as his lips touched him I felt all of the tension he had in him leave his body. He wrapped his arms around my body to pull me closer than I already was. After two long years I finally had him back, he was mine again. Well, I thought he was.

We heard a cough from a few feet away and John jumped back away from me.

We looked at the source of the noise and saw his John’s girlfriend standing there. Emotion drained from John’s face and he didn’t know what to do

“John, what the fuck is this?” This was the first time I had ever heard her speak.

“Jen, can we talk about this. Like can we go somewhere and talk about it?”

“Are you fucking gay? Are you actually cheating on me with some other fag?”

John flinched after that word left her mouth. He always hated that word and I can’t believe that he would ever date someone that would use it, even if their relationship wasn’t the most real.

“I just need to talk to you about this, there’s a lot you don’t know about an-“

“Yeah, clearly.” She crossed her arms and looked between us. “I’m dating a fucking faggot apparently. Can’t even control himself at his own father’s funeral. I didn’t know your dad that well but I knew him enough to be able to tell that he would hate you if he knew what you were. He would be disgusted and frankly, I feel pretty disgusted myself. I wonder what your mom would think right now. Because I’m sure her and your father would think the same about this”

John looked wounded by the words she was spitting at him. He never handled people bringing up his mother very well, especially if they thought she would be disappointed in him. His father used that to guilt him all the time.

“I um… I need to go.” He says quietly, almost too quietly for me and his (ex?)girlfriend to hear.

I reach out to touch his arm but he pulls away. “I said I need to go.” He says again but much more clearly and louder this time. He walks away briskly from the scene, walking past me.

After he's gone Jenny (I think that’s what he said her name was) looks right at me and says “This is your fault you know. You corrupted him.” I just roll my eyes and go home. Maybe I can try to talk to John again.

\-----

That happened a week ago. It amazing to think it’s only been a week. One whole week and I’m already at another funeral. Now this tombstone reading “Johnathan Cornelius O’Callaghan 1997-2017.”

After the events of last week ended when John got home he decided to take his own life.  
He left a very long note with my name on it. It took me a while to get through it. I had to keep pausing, it was too hard for me to read the last words that would ever come from John’s beautiful mind.

In the note I think he apologized at least a dozen times for killing himself, knowing I would be the one affected the most by his actions. In the note, he also gave a long list of reasons about why he did what he did. He had been struggling with his battle with depression for a long time, was now an orphan at the age of 20, he felt that everyone in his life (besides me) was just so against his sexuality. He just felt like it would’ve been more effort than it was worth to keep living.

So now I’m here at another funeral, not crying because I ran out of tears a few days ago. I look over to my right and see Jen crying a mess. Unbelievable. I doubt she really loved him and I know he didn’t love her.

He loved me though. And I loved him. I always will.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I finished my first fic! feel free to comment what you thought; I love criticism. (Also like I haven't stopped listening to Lovely Little Lonely all day because it came out today. My favs i think are Taxi and I Only Wanna Talk to You).

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah so this is my first fic so definitely feel free to leave and comments or criticisms! I also posted this on mibba.


End file.
